"Self-Evident
Truths About Pets"
* Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever.
Buy a cat a present and it will play with the
wrapper for 10 minutes.
* Although cats are rather delicate creatures,
and they are subject to a good many ailments, I
never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact
moment their owners will wake up. Then they
wake them 10 minutes sooner.
* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
* Dogs shed, cats shred.
* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are
members of a weird religious cult?
* No one appreciates the very special genius
of your conversation as the dog does.
* Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's
best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks
I am.
* Don't accept your dog's admiration as
conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
* People that hate cats will come back as dogs
in their next life.
* We wonder why the dogs always drink out
of our toilets, but look at it from their point of
view: Why do humans keep peeing into their
water bowls?
* Women and cats will do as they please ...
men and dogs should relax and get used
to the idea.
* When a man's best friend is his dog, that
dog has a problem.
* In order to keep a true perspective of one's
importance, everyone should have a dog that
will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.